MUTUWAR

MUTUWAR AURE: LAIFIN MAZA KO MATA?

Masu karatu assalamu alaikum, gaisuwa da fatan kuna cikin koshin lafiya. Yau kuma gamu tafe acikin wanna fili mai tarin albarka, inda za muyi maganan akan yawan mutuwar aure.
Kamar dai yadda akasani ne, aure zamane na zamantakewa, tarayya kana kuma a iya cewa zamane na hakuri tsakanin ma’aurata. Akwai matsaloli da dama da kan taso a tsakanin su ma’auratan a cikin harkokinsu na yau da kullum, wanda a wasu lokuta idan ba ankai hankali nesaba ko kuma anyi hakuri da junaba, sai kaga saki (wato rabuwa) ne sakamakon da zai biyo baya.
To wai me yakesa su mazajen daukan irin wannan mataki nayin saki da gaggawa duk dacewa ya halatta a addinance? Kuma shin laifin wanene a tsakanin su mazan da matan?
Akandai bar ginine tun ranar zane, domin kuwa wasu mazajen suke bata lamarin tun lokacin da suke neman yarinyar da aure. Wadansun su idan sunje zance, maimakon su gayawa yarinyar gaskiya game dasu, a’a saidai su dauki duk karyan duniya su gaya masu, suce iyayensu ne wane da wane, yana da gidaje kaza, motoci kaza, dadai sauransu, itakuma dama yarinyar idan mai halin shazumamine sai tace ai inbashi ba sai rijiya. Har ila yau bayan karerayi da maza keyi wajen neman aure don ganin sun sami matan da sukeso, akwai kuma lallaba budurwa da sukeyi su maida ita yar lele duk abinda tace shine za’ayi.
Saidai abinda yake biyo bayan irin wadannan karerayi shine rabuwa. Domin kuwa da zaran anyi auren idan yarinyar bata ga abubuwan da aka rika zayyanamata a bayaba, sai rigin gimu iri iri su taso. Haka kuma irin daman da ake bata kafin auren duk zasu kau, domin kuwa dazaran sun shiga gidajen mazajen nasu, to saifa yadda akayi dasu don kuwa yanzu wuka da nama na hannun mai gidane. A takaice, ana iya cewa wasu mazan akwaisu da karya, yaudara da kuma wulakanci, wanda hakan na iya haifar da sanadiyyar karewan aure.
Idan muka duba bangaren mata kuwa, zamu ga cewa suma suna da nasu irin laifin. Misali, wasu matan zakaga kwalliya ma basu iya ba don jan ra’ayin mazajen nasu a duk lokacin da suke gida. Basu iya amfani da lafuzza masu sanyaya zucciyar namija ba. Uwa uba shine ace mace bata iya abinci ba, nan ne yafi ko ina matsala, domin idan wasu matan sukayi ma girki, to wallahi baka iya banbance tsakaninsa da dussa. Sai kuma maganar tsabta, mafi yawancin mata zaka ga tsaftar kansu ma yazama masu aiki balle uwa uba na gida, basa iya wanka don mazajensu su gani suji dadi, saidai idan ance akwai biki ko suan fa ai nan fa zakaga ana wanka har aba uku lada.Har ila yau, wasu basusan yadda zasu kwantarwa da mazajensu rai ba a duk lokacin da wani abu na bacin rai ya samesu.
Har yanzu dai ina kan mata, wasu basu san adawo lafiya ba ko barka da zuwa ga mazajensu, ga rashin godiya ga dukkan abin da mai gida zai kawo. Gayawan dogon buri, ga kallon yawangashin wance. Idan suna shan jan miya kullum ne, to suma fa sai sun sha kullum. To duk irin wadannan abubuwanne a lokuta da dama ke haifar da saki, inda idan aka duba da kyau, za’a iya gane ko waye ke da laifi a tsakanin maza ko mata.
To wai me yakamata ayi ne don shawo kan wadannan matsaloli? To ai bawani abune mai wuya ba, illa dai su maza su sanifa cewa ko wani tsuntsu kukan gidansu ya keyi. Kuma daidai ruwa daidai kurji, har ilayau su sani cewa ramin fa karya kurarriyace (koda yake wasu matan sai an hada masu da kyarya saboda kwadayinsu). Ba’ataba cewa gaskiyar mutun ta kare saidai ace karyansa ta kare. Don haka maza a rika fadin gaskiya a dukkan al’amuran da za’asa a gaba.ku kuma sanifa karya bazata taba haifar da sakamako mai amfani ba.
Ga mata kuwa, a daina rawan ido, kwadayi da son abin duniya. A daina duban mai zuwa a mota da mai zuwa a kasa ko a babur. Banda duban wayafi sa kaya masu tsada. Abinda ya kamat ku duba kawai shine waye zai kare maku mutuncin ku, ya kuma baku hakkinku da dai sauran nauyin da ka iya hawa kansa a matsayinsa na mai gida. Dsa fatan Allah yaci gaba da yimana jagora adukkan ayyukan mu na yau da kullum.wassalam
MUNTAKA ABDUL-HADI DABO
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